The spin on nurturing children's empathy

Posted Feb 16, 2012 By Susan Ramsay

EMC Lifestyles -The shiny quarter spirals high into the air. It descends hastily to be sandwiched between the back of one hand and palm of another. "Heads you win, tails you lose!" And with that, fortune or misfortune is chosen.

To educators and parents, children's misfortune with experiencing bullying can seem as random as the flip of a coin. Daycares, schools, colleges and universities try to maintain physical and emotional safety among their students, but it isn't always easy.

Barbara Coloroso, respected author in the field of parenting, emphasizes that our efforts to teach conflict resolution skills to children, though important, miss the underlying reason for bullying behaviour. Only when we are able to impart to our children how to care deeply for one another can we make effective and lasting change. And, she points out, teaching empathy begins at birth.

Children's understanding of empathy, of course, is hugely influenced by how we as parents and adults act. Children notice when we speak respectfully to those less powerful than ourselves. They notice when we try to understand the perspective of others, and they notice when we put others' needs ahead of own.

Children's books are also exceptional tools for helping young children develop empathy. Through stories, children can visualize themselves in situations other than their own. Through story characters they can feel what it is like to be in someone else's skin. Many and varied books are in libraries and book stores to help parents and educators nurture the development of empathy within children.

I'm Like You, You're Like Me: A Book about Understanding and Appreciating Each Other, by Cindy Gainer, helps children appreciate ways in which children are alike as well as different from one another. The book includes two pages of suggestions for parents and caregivers to use with children when reinforcing acceptance and empathy.

It's Okay to Be Different, by Todd Parr, uses illustrations and simple text to show the importance of children from all cultural backgrounds, physical abilities, family make-up, and personality preferences.

All the Colors of the Earth, by Sheila Hamanaka, celebrates the diversity of ethnic backgrounds. Differences in skin colour, hair, and places in which children grow up, make the world a beautiful place.

Is it Because?, by Tony Ross, is a picture book, written in rhyme and simple text, that explores why bullying happens. In this story the main character tries to figure out why he is being bullied and, through his questioning, begins to better understand both himself and the bully.

Hooway for Wodney Wat, by Helen Lester, is the story of Rodney Rat, a rodent who is teased mercilessly because he can't pronounce his "R" s. Then Camilla Capybara, a new student, arrives at school boasting that she is bigger, meaner and smarter than everyone else. Rodney and his classmates are the targets of her bullying. In the end it is timid Rodney who speaks up and rescues himself and his classmates from Camilla's bullying forever.

What are the chances our children will live and play in safe and caring environments? By nurturing empathy we can affect the odds. The quarter spins and settles. Heads up! We all win.